Leonard Part 6

I am a movie fan(atic). I'll watch any and all forms of movies, even chick flicks as evidence by my watching Kelly's new DVD Twilight (yes, I watched it last night. Shut up.). Earlier on Sunday I decided to satisfy some morbid curiosity and watch, via Netflix streaming, Leonard Part 6, the 1987 comedic disaster starring none other than Bill Cosby.

The basic premise of this movie is Cosby was a CIA agent who resigned from the service after his wife left him. Cosby later opened a resturant that would become "San Francisco's best". The CIA needs Cosby back after losing eight agents in one week to the diabolical Medussa Johnson, a vegetarian who has learned to control the minds of animals via some kind of orb that is never fully explained. Using this power she assassinates CIA agents. How? She has divers deploy a barking rainbow trout in salt water that inexplicably finds a way to swim into a swimming pool and devour one agent. No, I'm not making that up. Another agent meets his demise when thousands of frogs simultaneously hop up and down lift a car and tossing it over the side of a parking garage while an agent was doing surveillance on a building. No, I didn't make that up either.

Leonard (Cosby) does indeed return to the service and saves the world using magic meat given to him by a gypsy. But that's not all - Leonard also deploys magic ballet slippers to defeat the "bird dancers", a group of strict vegetarians dressed in bird-themed costumes. And thank god for the Magic Queen Bee that follows Leonard's verbal commands. The story would have surely fallen apart without the Magic Bee.

Leonard releases the animals from the evil vegetarian headquarters and proceeds to fight the "bad guys" using thawed magical beef patties that burn on contact. Oh, and one guy eats a magical hot dog that makes his head explode (mine nearly did too at this point). Leonard, having defeated the people and survived an attack by mind-controlled lobsters using magical melted butter, starts to destroy the building and he finds an ostrich still looked in an enclosure of the burning building. Leonard destroys vats of some kind of colorful liquid that factored into a larger plan to do something to San Francisco using plain old non-magic Alka Seltzer and makes it to the roof of the burning building riding, yes, riding the ostrich. The ostrich, a flightless bird, flies Leonard to the ground safely.

So is this the worst movie of all time? No. It doesn't even come close to indy flick Trailer Town. But for a studio-produced movie it's pretty damn bad. Even Cosby himself tried to convince people not to see the movie before it was released! Cosby went as far as purchasing the TV rights to the movie himself to keep it from ever being shown on television! Wow, you know you have a stinker when the star of the movie goes to that length to keep it under wraps. Had Cosby foreseen people in 2009 watching this stinker on the Roku I'm sure he would have tried to stop that as well.

* 1/2 out of *****