A new car in 2009?

Don't count on it, at least not in my garage. I did, just before Christmas, have a weak moment when I thought to myself "perhaps Kelly would be better served by a smaller car to use as a daily commuter". Her Infiniti G35x has been paid off for some time and my Suburban has only another year or so of payments left. Forget the fact that if I actually ran the household financial numbers it would be plainly obvious that there is no way another car payment could be absorbed. Car dealers are hurting, right? I mean, they are desperate to move new cars, aren't they? If you are looking to buy a new car, now is the time, right?

Not if you are in the market for a Mini Cooper. Yeah, yeah. Sling your arrows and call this a chick car but the fact is a Mini S is a phenomenal vehicle and a hell of a fun car to drive. The supercharged 180 hp engine gets this little car up and moving and with the wheels so far apart there is almost no understeer or body roll even in the hardest or corners. In short it drives like a go-cart on steroids and I wanted one.

So I called. I spoke to Kyle, who sounded like a 20-something fresh out of college, and we had a very brief conversation.

Kyle: "This is sales, my name is Kyle. What can I do for you today?"
Greg: "Kyle, my name is Greg and I'm interested in a Mini S."
Kyle: "That's fantastic, we have a large inventory right now and I'm sure we can find the car you want with the options and colors you desire."
(sounds good so far)
Greg: "Well, do tell Kyle, what kind of end-of-the-year incentives is Cooper offering?"
Kyle: "First and foremost Minis hold their value better than any other car on the market."
(here we go)
Kyle: "And Mini has *NEVER* offered any incentives because that would harm the resell market."
(bull shit)
Kyle: "That's why you are protected in your investment when you purchase a Mini."
(a car? an investment? that's a laugh. Maybe a 428 Corbra, but new cars devalue and that does not an investment make.)
Greg: "What about the dealership? Times are tight, right? How many cars do you have to move before the end of the year to make quota?"
Kyle: "We don't have quotas here. In fact why don't you browse the inventory on the website, find the car you are interested in purchasing and we'll set up an appointment. You can arrive, test drive the very car that has caught your eye and we'll have you on the road in less than 90 minutes."
(actually, in terms of how long it takes to buy a damn car that sounds kind of nice, but I'm not biting.)
Greg: "Well I'd like to finance through my credit union at work, so there would be a bit of extra paperwork to complete."
Kyle: "Oh that's no problem, since the prices are advertised on the website I can simply take that price, add the taxes, tags and other fees so you can have the check with you when you arrive."
Greg: "So, wait, there MSRP on the sticker is what you're willing to sell the car for and nothing less?"
Kyle: "That's right. It helps your resell value. Can we set up an appointment now?"
Greg: "I'll call you. Thanks, and have a great day."

So, folks, the good people at your local Mini dealership are NOT hurting one bit, at least Kyle doesn't think so. Goodness, here Dodge is selling two trucks for the price of one if you purchase at sticker price and everyone else has "employee pricing" and 10,000 other incentives to get you in the door and Mini is willing to do nothing?

Meh. I can do without very well, thank you very much. The last thing I need is a new car anyway.